a place of love and beauty.

" I love to see the temple. I went inside today. I felt the Holy Spirit as I listened and I prayed. For the temple is the house of God a place of love and beauty. I prepared myself while I was young. It is a sacred duty."

 I was able to go through the temple for the first time and just thought i'd share my experience about how it went. Before  i got there i prayed to have an open mind and open heart so that the spirit could be with me. I also fasted which i think helped a ton. When i first walked in and was just waiting in the lobby i couldn't help but get a little teary eyed. It was like a dream. I was so much more than a dream really. I think that heaven will be like the temple for sure. It was so humbling to see everyone dressed in white and just the smiles that everyone had i couldn't help but feel loved by the people there and the love the savior has for me. i can't even begin to tell you how nice all the temple workers are. I think i hugged about twenty or so different sisters in there. Each of them made me feel so loved like they actually knew me on a personal level. I hope one day that I'll have the opportunity to serve in the temple with such righteous women. 

  Its so peaceful inside the temple and i completely forgot about the world out side of such sacred walls. I hope one day that my future home will be like the temple in the way it was so peaceful and inviting of the spirit. I really just can't explain all the feeling i had in there. It was a little crazy for my first time but everyone said that it just takes some getting use to. I'm lucky to have about one month to go through as many times as possible before I head out into the field. 

  Well, while i was in the celestial room i had to simply think and just look into those big beautiful mirrors. It's so awesome that if we keep ourselves worthy and keep the commandments and previous made covenants that we may have the opportunity to go to the temple. I thought about all the choices that i had to make to get to this point in my life and all the choices that i could have made. I love this gospel so much. The blessings that we receive are so amazing. It amazes me that he asks so little of us and if we are obedient all those blessings are ours. If i could have one wish I think it would be for everyone to make it to the temple someday. 

 So, i just thought i'd share another feeling i had with you. Sorry i keep rambling on so bear with me or you can just stop reading now haha. Okay so, i was a little hesitant about the whole garment thing. I heard a lot of people who said that garments were nice but they took a lot of getting use to and that they just were really hard to adjust too. I just assumed that, that would be my case but i was so wrong. My garments are probably my new favorite thing in the world. When i was in high school i loved going to school dances so that i could wear a pretty dress and get all dolled up. Those dances just made me feel so beautiful like all eyes were on me. I never knew what true beauty was until i put on my garments. I honestly have never felt so beautiful in my life. There is just something about them and what they represent that just make me feel so loved and amazing. I don't know, that was probably too much but really i have gained a testimony of garments and the temple and i believe without a doubt in my heart that the temple changes lives for the better. 

 the world we live in is tough, but so are we. I know the blessings that come with keeping the commandments and covenants made. I truly hope that everyone will strive to enter the house of The Lord so that they may receive those blessings as well. the temple truly is heaven on earth. 

  

elder stevenson.

Keanu Jamir Stevenson entered the Provo MTC on Wednesday. I love this guy more than I think anyone will ever understand. tonight has been rather rough, usually I would call up Keanu and we would go for a drive and I would just let everything out. obviously that won't happen tonight, it really won't happen for about two years, but I decided to blog about some of my favorite memories with him :) 

over the summer we would go on cousin dates at least once a week maybe more. this particular cousin date we made dinner and went to the movies. I remember we were making chicken and Keanu was so worried because he wasn't sure on how to thaw the chicken haha it was so funny! the movie we went to was called "the way way back" with Steve carell so we thought it would be hilarious. needless to say we were horribly wrong and it was the saddest movie ever made. this lovely photo above though was taken during a preview for a scary movie which I don't recall the name of haha. 

this is probably one of my favorite pictures we have together! this was our senior year, pine view game. it was such an intense game and I remember we went into double over time and almost didnt make it! I want to say the power went out but I think that was last years Super Bowl hahaa. anyways, I got all the cheerleaders to call Keanu "sugar booty" and so we cheered for our little "sugar booty all season :) 

you can now see where the name sugar booty came from. haha. this was one of the best days if summer in the history of ever. it was my first trip to the spillway all thanks to Keanu. we took so many funny pictures and it was just awesome to just be kids and not have a care in the world. my cousins are everything to me. I really am so blessed to be apart if such a close family. 

graduation was such a party! i know that there is no way possible that I would have made it through those brutal high school days without him. i will always cherish the times we would pull all nighters doing assignments for cullie's or Parker's class. or ditching class together so we could enjoy a nice "mental health day" haha he really is and was such a genuine friend in high school. he could have ate lunch with his buddies everyday but instead he would eat with me and help me study for other classes. it's just the little things that he did that really left an impact on me. 

cousin date at Durangos! I don't remember a whole lot about this day except we both got pork salads and drove around town blasting some good ol Cher Lloyd :) 

homecoming was such a fun night. obviously I didn't go with Keanu but he still made sure I was having fun the whole time and always was checking on and stuff. I've said it before and I'll say it a million times more he is the most genuine person I've ever met in my life. 

this is the day he got his mission call to Samoa. it was such a humbling thing for him to share with us. it was so amazing to see him get choked up. he isn't one who shows his "sensitive" side much but when he does you can't help but get choked up yourself. 

matea loves this guy probably as much as I do maybe even more haha. I loved seeing them play together. there is a 16 year gap between the two but he always made time to play chase or hide and seek with her. I know she may not remember the time he spent with her ten years from now but right now it means the world to her. 

 

I have plenty more memories with this wonderful guy right here but I'll save those for later. I miss Keanu so much. he's only been gone a few days but it already feels like forever. he has had the biggest impact in my life and I know that he will bless so many lives in Samoa. I can't express my gratitude for him and the example that he has shown me. I am so proud of him and his willingness to share the gospel light with those in need. I can't wait to join my boy in the mission field and help bring the world Gods truth. this picture is so dear to my heart because it was my last hug from my dear elder Stevenson for two years. I know The Lord will protect him and that he will be taken care of. it's without a doubt in my heart that this is why Keanu was sent here on earth at this time. to share the gospel. two years are going to fly right on by. love you, Kee! thanks for being the example that I need in my life :) 

called to serve.

I was finally called to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

It's been such a trying and humbling process and my heart is full with the spirt. On March 12, 2014 I will enter into the Provo MTC. From there I will spend the next 18 months in Ohio. I can't wait to share the gospel and fall in love with a beautiful city meant for me. 

When I got my call I was so nervous. I felt like I couldn't breathe and that I was going to pass out. My heart was touched by the spirit and I knew I was being called to serve not only where the people need me but where I need the people. As soon as I read the words Cincinnati, Ohio the world stopped. Ever since I decided to serve a mission I've been praying for the people that I would be serving. It just feels right to call ohio home. It's so weird. I've been looking up so many pictures and trying to find out everything that I can about it. Cincinnati is such a big city it makes me a little nervous.  I can't believe that I've waited so long and the day has come. It's really been such a humbling experience and I can't wait for it to continue. I'm still a little uneasy about the situation but I know deep in my heart that I was sent here on earth to help others find the light of Christ. I know that Heavenly Father has a divine plan just for me and that he will guide me as I teach the people of Ohio. I hope to be a good representative of the savior.  I hope that while I am on my mission I will learn to not only love others but truly learn to love myself. Thanks everyone who has supported me in the choices that I've made and helped me get to where I am. I know without a doubt in my heart that The Lord places people in your life to help each and everyone of us. Thank you for being one of those people. I cannot wait to start this adventure. 

realize.

Yesterday I got to spend some much needed time with dani girl. 

It was like we were seven again. Not a worry in the world just the two of us being dorks. Talking with dani made me realize a lot of things. One of them being that it's not okay to lie to yourself. She shared things with me about a recent relationship she had and it reminded me a lot of the one I'm finding myself in now.

 With that being said I've come to realize that I've been rather selfish. How can I expect to be in a relationship when I know I'm leaving in a few short months. So I've come to the decision that the only relationship I need to work on is the one with my Heavenly Father.  

Dani helped me see that it's okay to feel certain ways and want to do certain things because it's natural man with that being said I need to put on the full armor of god and not just the bits and pieces I want. 

A few days ago I was able to receive a priesthood blessing. Prior to that I had someone ask me what the hardest thing was about deciding to go on a mission. As in what were some of the hardest trials I had to face. I couldn't exactly pin point it. If you couldn't tell that bothered me that I couldn't think of things. Then all of a sudden it clicked. For me the hardest part is that satan knows you. He knows what you really want and will try to give it to you in the most horrible way possible. Being natural men, of course we fall for it. It scares me that satan knows me so well but it also is comforting. Comforting because he knows I'm a strong daughter of god. I won't fall for his tricks so easily so he knows that he has to work twice as hard maybe even three times as hard. I am so confident in the person I am and the path that I'm on that satan will not stop me. I know he likes a challenge because he is constantly trying me. By all means keep the trials coming. I am becoming a strong servant of The Lord and nothing will stop me from sharing the gospel. 

I've realized that I am a blessed person who needs to be humbled daily. I need to communicate my feelings better and though I may want something now, I mustn't jeopardize my eternal salvation.

  Be grateful for everyday and take a moment each day to realize all the wonderful things that happen in your life daily. 

same team.

We are all on the same team. Lately this has been on my mind a lot. If we are all on the same team why do  people try so hard to tear others down? Why cause intentional pain to our team mates? We need to start acting like a team. 

Everybody that I know is out there for themselves. It's a crazy world that we are living in right now.  

This week instead of doing things that only benefitted me, I tried to do things that benefitted those around me. Leading out a helping hand to my neighbor caring in too many groceries, to doing the dishes at my grandmas house after family dinner. Little things of that nature. I'm pleased to say that I think those some acts of kindness really did make a difference. Everything just seemed to go smooth and there wasn't as much arguing and contention in our home. 

I just think that if we all looked at others with the knowledge that we are all on the same team, people would treat others better. We all just need to try and make the world better one day at a time, one kind act at a time, and with the pure intention to make everyone feel loved and appreciated. 

Don't take your team for granted. Ever. 

andy.

Wednesday night I went out on a date with a complete stranger. As soon as I left I felt sick to my stomach. Not a physical sickness but a sickness as in something didn't feel right. We went to a movie and I couldn't have been happier when it was over. I was so relieved and ready to go home. Instead my date decided we would go to the park and hang out. I still didn't feel right about it but off we went to the park. That's when it happened. 

The kid who had taken me to the park pulled out a bag of weed. He asked me to just try some and getting high was so fun. I literally felt like the world was ending. I said a prayer in my heart that I would be able to get of the horrible situation I had been placed in. As soon as I was done pleading with Heavenly Father my prayer was answered. 

Andy Perkins sent me a text and I knew everything was going to be okay. I quickly told my date that something had come up and I needed to go home immediately. I wasn't going to take no for an answer and this kid could clearly see it in my eyes. Without anything to say I was taken home and left unharmed. 

I don't know why Andy had decided to text me when he did but I truly believe it was inspiration. Andy has always been such an amazing friend and I have so much more respect for him. I don't think Andy will ever understand how grateful I am for such a simple act. Miricales happen everyday and when people are intuned with the spirit the most wonderful things happen. 

Andy, I really do love you for being such an amazing friend and for everything you do for me :) 

change.

Over the past couple of months if I've learned anything it's that things change. After high school some go to college, some serve missions, some get married and some just bum around. 

Thinking back to this time last year so much has changed. It's not really my cup of tea to have my whole world change so quickly but I'm learning to love it. 

Most of the time change is exactly what we need. Recently my cousin, Keanu, got his mission call to the Samoa, Apia mission. He seriously is one of the reasons I believe that anyone can change through the atonement of Christ and by will power. We've had countless conversations over the years and I always knew he would make it to this point in his life. I've never been more proud of him and know that if The Lord can humble Keanu, The Lord will humble. 

So even though times I may be bitter about change I know in my heart that it is good. 

I think that if we change ourselves to be better a little each day that we can leave the world a better place. Little things matter and never stop doing them. 

Keanu Jamir, my best friend since 1995. 

It's always been the three of us since I can remember. Now all three of us are going out to serve The Lord :)

Change is a good and humbling experience and I'm so blessed to have been able to go through all life's awkward changes with these two by my side.